Learning To Love You More




Assignment #37
Write down a recent argument.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania USA



(throwing down pete's cell phone, pounding down the hallway and slamming the bathroom door shut.)
Me: Don't ever talk to me again. Don't ever touch me.
(walking into our bedroom, shaking)
Pete: what? What? What? Baby, what? (dripping wet from the shower, towel-less)
Me: (shaking my head) Don't ever talk to me again. I saw what she said to you. She left you a message that said I love you! I knew it. I knew you were fucking around with her. I knew you would cheat on me with her from the minute I met her. I knew it.
Pete: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh god. I never meant to hurt you.
Me: (crying) don't tell me you're sorry. You can't be sorry for a choice you made using your own free will. Don't touch me. I can't believe you.
Pete: I'm so sorry. Nic I mean, Em I'm so sorry.
Me: Nic!?! You know my name. I cannot believe you just called me 'nic'.
Pete: I'm so sorry, em. I didn't mean for it to happen.
Me: how long has this been going on? Have you been visiting her in Rhode Island all those times you said you were going to Connecticut to see your friends? Have you?
(overlapping conversation)
Pete: no! no! no! (shaking his head) no! when we broke up, I had no one here but you and things were so hard here. She and I were friends, only friends, and then things just developed.
Me: don't you dare blame your inability to deal with your childhood on me. I have always been here for you. I told you I would drive you to therapy, support you. You pushed me away. You chose not to share this with me. You chose her this is not my fault. You never wanted me to be a part of your problems. You turned your back on me and told me you couldn't handle a relationship because of your childhood. That was a lie. Everything you ever told me was a lie. Its like you've erased all the good memories I had of us.
Pete: It was a flirtation. I didn't mean for this to happen.
Me: Clearly this has gone on for a long time, for her to say 'I love you'. Nothing you have ever said to me matters anymore if you can leave me someone you said you wanted to be with, to marry and days later fall in love with her. She's 21, Pete! She's a student and you're an instructor! What are you thinking?! What does she possibly know about life? Fuck! When I was 21 I was an idiot. You're an idiot. We don't even get a goodbye you ruined our goodbye. And I loved you so much. 2 years, Pete! And its not like we're in high school!
Pete: I love you, too.
Me: No! You absolutely do not. Don't you ever say that to me again.
Pete: (crying) I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
Me: But you did. You have to leave. I don't care where you go, but you need to move out this week. I don't want to see you again. I was committed to living with you and trying to be friends, to support you when you said you couldn't be in a relationship anymore. I was trying to accept it for months I was. But you just ruined all of that. You spit in my face. She is not a nice girl, Pete. Nice girls don't fool around with people who are still living with their exes. Does she even know? Are you feeding her a pack of lies about me? Blaming everything on me for her sympathy?
Pete: No! No!
Me: The worst part is that it was so wonderful for so long. And now, this only proves that it all ends the same way, no matter how it began. It just all ends the same way it goes to shit. The beginning and the middle don't even matter.
Pete: No!
Me: Yes. I hope you two get married and have scads of children. I hope you hate her and you can't get rid of her. If I ever see her she had better run the other way. She met me once. You're disgusting. Should I go get tested?
Pete: no! we haven't done that.
Me: Well, that's good, since you still couldn't keep your hands off of me after we broke up.
You are so disgusting. What a pack of lies. You are the same as everyone else. You're all assholes. Unbelievable.
Pete: no! Em, no! I don't want you to think that, that every man you meet is going to hurt you.
Me: ha! That's rich, coming from you.