Learning To Love You More
HELLO ASSIGNMENTS DISPLAYS LOVE GRANTS REPORTS SELECTIONS OLIVERS BOOK

 ASSIGNMENTS:

 

 

Assignment #37
Write down a recent argument.

Milan
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania USA

REPORTS:

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ADAM: (loudly and in a dumb, indistinguishable accent) This is good
ME: (continues playing solitaire on iPod across the table)
ADAM: Hey Milan, this is good
ADAM: You know what you need to learn how to do is... (long pause while chewing) You need to learn how to make the best out of any situation
ME: Whoa, that's really original. You're a regular Ghandi, just like Mister Rogers
ADAM: See this is what I mean!
ME: Well, now I'm bored, and I'm already doing that (shows iPod)
ADAM: God, could you be meaner?
ME: Yes
ADAM: I doubt it. You've been a complete bitch ever since we've got here
ME: To you I suppose
ADAM: (to my mother who has just returned) Tell me honestly; She has got to be the meanest person in the world
DENISE: No way. You must not talk to many people
ADAM: I think she is
DENISE: Well she is mean
ME: Just to him
ADAM: Why? You're not even having fun
ME: I'm perfectly contented
ADAM: No you're not. You're not having any fun. You just sulk all of the time
ME: I'm not going to let you sit around and tell me when I do and don't enjoy myself. I inhabit myself, I think I'd know
ADAM: You have hardly said a word to anyone since we've been here
ME: Okay, so now you can tell blatant lies because you're that upset that I wouldn't acknowledge your idiotic humour?
DENISE: What are you talking about? She's even spoken to you! In fact, she talked to Mandi all dinner long last night
ADAM: This is the most miserable I've ever seen her. Don't you think?
DENISE: No!
ADAM: She's being miserable
DENISE: She's a lot better than she was the first time around
ADAM: I think she's worse
ME: I still had a good time the first time around and I was genuinely miserable!
ADAM: I don't think so
ME: Oh my God...
ADAM: I just feel that you're always insincere with me
ME: No, the problem you have with me is that I'm entirely sincere with you. Were I being insincere I would pretend to laugh at your dumb excuses for jokes and constant childish demeanor
ADAM: You're the one who acts like a child! You're the teenager!
ME: Actually, I'm technically an adult
ADAM: (to my mother) Do you think she's an adult
DENISE: (long and without hesitation) No
ADAM: You're a kid!
ME: Listen, I can be imprisoned. I'm an adult
DENISE: (laughing as if to lighten the situation) That is true. She's got a point
ADAM: What are you embarrassed? Are you afraid of what people think of you? You're afraid. You're can't do have the things you want to do because you're afraid!
ME: What are you talking about?!
ADAM: You've sat out half of these rides because you're afraid!
ME: I've sat them out because I have motion sickness! You've known that since I was a kid, yet you act like you've never heard of it! Not to mention that since they make me sick I don't want to do them so they're obviously not things I want to do. I don't even mind sitting by myself it's nice!
ADAM: Oh please. You have no fun
ME: You must think because I don't jump up and down and have a smile plastered onto my face that I'm not enjoying myself
DENISE: She's not like other kids. She really just never liked those things
ADAM: You need to learn-
ME: You know what, I really need to grow up; I definitely need to learn something. I need to learn how to get up and walk away. (Walks out of the pizza shoppe)