ASSIGNMENTS:
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Sarah Fran Wisby
San Francisco, California USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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If you cannot reach it, leave it alone. If it's blown to bits, collect the bits and burn them. If it's just in a few pieces, make a small effort to reassemble the parts. I'm not talking major surgery (duh, I'm dead) but just lay them close to where they were attached in life. If all parts are attached and body is gore-free, have a party! Wash me and comb my hair. Give me a manicure and a pedicure. Pluck the hairs from my chin and around my nipples. Put some nice white powder all over me, maybe some lavender and herbs. Do not let any creepy people participate, like ___________ or ____________. Wrap me in a sheet (unbleached organic cotton, of course) with just my face and hands (and cute pedicured feet!) showing for the viewing. Make sure I look pretty! And invite everyone who ever rejected me, especially _________. Light the space with candles. Let people touch my forehead with rosewater-moistened fingers. If they are still alive, take a photograph of my mother and father embracing for the first time since 1979. I don't know why.
The next morning, bury me in the ground with as little material as possible between me and the dirt. I know there may be some legal issues around this, but come on, they did it with Nate's body on Six Feet Under. Pick a pretty place, with lots of trees and no pesticides. No fanfare. There'll be plenty of opportunities for fanfare at the reception.
At the reception, sing songs. A good one is that Freakwater song: "Heaven is for the weak at heart, and those who never were as smart as me..." What are some other ones? I'm sure Cat Power has some good ones. I'm sure Mom knows some old Quaker tunes to bring down the house.
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