Learning To Love You More




Assignment #52
Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Evelyn Martinez
Austin, Texas USA



(Y = Every guy that has hurt me in the past)
Me: Hello?
Y: Hey Ev what's up? It's Every Guy That's Hurt You in the Past!
Me: God, I never thought I would hear from you. Hi...
Y: Yeah I don't usually like talking about how I'm feeling and I pretty much keep the past in the past. I mean, you know how good I am about running away from problems. But I was thinking about you and how I left you when you were 2, hurt you when you were 6, left you again at the age of 12, betrayed your trust about a year ago when we had that one conversation as well as when I got in that fight with your mom around Christmas time, and just in general having been pretty inconsiderate throughout your childhood and adolescence. So I want to sincerely apologize for constantly abandoning you and never giving you any sort of positive stability to rely on. I've done some pretty mean things to you that you did not deserve and I know I am responsible for so many issues that you struggle with today. Evie, I'm sorry. I really hope you can forgive me because everything that I have put you through really is unfair. Can you forgive me?
Me: So...it wasn't completely my fault every time you hurt me?
Y: No. All of the instances I am apologizing for were just me being a jerk and I really want to talk to you about how from your point of view the stories all might seem different than from my point of view.
Me: If solving all of my problems were just as simple as saying, "Yes, I forgive you," then life would be so much easier. But having this conversation with you really does make me wonder what is stopping me from making the solution that simple. As I said, I never thought I would be having this conversation with you and as a result of having gone so long without talking to you or about you, my perspective of myself and others has actually become quite skewed. So, I really do not know what to say. I'll call you back after I've had some time to think about this. And it will be nice hearing your side of the story...bye.
Y: How long will it take you to think about this?
Me: I don't know, hopefully not too long. But there is a lot to think about. I want to forgive you though and I'm tired of having these negative feelings. So I'm not sure how long it will take, but I will definitely call you back. Thanks for calling though. Bye.
Y: Okay. Bye.