Learning To Love You More




Assignment #52
Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Mahima Shrestha
Kathmandu, NEPAL
Email Mahima



You: Hello?
Me: Hey.
You: I have some things to tell you.
Me: me too.
You: But maybe that can all wait.
Me: yes, maybe we'll screw it more if we talk about it right now.
You: I'm already saturated. I don't think I can right all this anyway.
Me: me neither. But it's not your fault or mine. We together screwed up somewhere, I think. And I don't know how we can get back what we had.
You: I hope we can. Everything seems heightened. Every mistake seems huge, just another screw up. All the laughter feels fleeting.
Me: I don't know what we're doing wrong, or how we could have gotten to this stage so suddenly. From one moment to the next, everything changed. I wish you'd just told me earlier. I was here. I would have wanted to know: even if for no other reason than that I'd like to have been comforted, and I'd like to have been there to comfort you.
You: ...
Me: don't say sorry or say I know. I know you're sorry. I am too. But just listen. I have so much to say and so much I haven't said because “sorry” always gets in the way. This isn't about a guilt trip or about mistakes. I only want to be heard. Just listen. Please.
*end of conversation*