Learning To Love You More




Assignment #52
Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Ruth Marie Meberg Stine
Cincinnati, Ohio USA



Me: Hello?
M: Hi Ruth! I was just thinking about you and thought I'd give you a call.
Me: Oh. I really miss you guys and wish I was home with you.
M: Your dad and I miss you a lot, too. We were just talking about you last night.
Me: Oh yeah?
M: Yeah. We were talking about how much you've changed. About how much you've grown and we're just so proud of you.
Me: Oh Mom. I guess I know that you're proud of me, but it's so really nice to actually hear it.
M: Well, everyone needs to hear it, it's okay. We all need to know our parents are proud of us.
Me: Sometimes I just feel so guilty, you know, for doing all that stupid stuff in high school. For lying all the time and not listening to you. I wish I had let you in more. I hate how ignorant I was, and sometimes still am.
M: Well, you were a stinker. You always lied when you were little. Do you remember that?
Me: I remember you telling me that "Ruth" and "Truth" were too close for me, because I never told the truth. I remember thinking that was really silly, but I guess it stuck with me. Now I value truthfulness in people more that anything else.
M: I don't remember saying that to you!
Me: You always say that! I know. I remember lying straight to your face, when I was little and when I was in high school and thinking at both times, well, all I have to do is lie and they'll never call me on it.
M: Uh huh.
Me: And then realizing, about 48 hours after you had dropped me off at college that you and dad knew everything I did. That you knew when I was lying and you probably were rolling your eyes at me and sighing, you know, cause I was such an idiot.
M: Well, what matters is that you're okay now.
Me: Well I wouldn't be okay if I didn't make those mistakes early in life. And I feel now that you and dad were kinda there, waiting in the wings, and really stepped in when I could have REALLY messed up. I remember you coming downstairs after you waited up for me one night. I can't imagine what you thought was going on with me at that time. Joe---remember Joe?
M: Uh...yeah. Of course.
Me: He's married with kids now. Wow. Anyway, he'd drop me off on weekends and I'd always come home crying. But I wouldn't tell you anything, I'd say we watched a sad movie or something. And one night I was crying and you came down and looked so upset. You asked what was going on with me. And I remember thinking, Ruth, what is going on? Why is this happening? How could you make your mom worry so much?
M: Oh, we were just worried about you.
Me: I know. I should have reached out more. I started me "ME" stage pretty early.
M: Well, you are very different from your siblings. Liz would have talked to me, but I don't expect the same things from either of you. You know that.
Me: Yeah, I know.
M: Well. I hope your Easter was good and your ham turned out. I just wanted to call and say good job, keep going, you're almost done with your first year of graduate school! We're so proud that you're working hard and we know you're going to do great things.
Me: Thanks, mom. I love you.
M: Your dad and I love you, too. Give Tim a hug for us.
Me: Okay. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
M: Ummhmm. Bye.