Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania USA
(I'm driving back to my office on Campbells Run Road after lunch at Moe's with Julia and Holden. Julia is in the front passenger seat; Holden is in the back behind Julia. Julia and Holden are smoking; all of us are sipping our to-go cups of pop. We come to a stop in a line of traffic waiting for the flagger in a construction zone to give us the go-ahead.)
Julia: Maddie didn't eat her chewie today. When I got home, she brought it back upstairs, and she didn't eat her breakfast until 10.
Jen: Maybe her tummy is upset.
Julia: Paige burped in my face today, it was so bad, I dry heaved.
Jen: I think Paige is eating poop again.
Julia: Ewww...I think there's something you can put on their food to make them stop doing that.
Jen: Yeah, Tabasco.
Julia: But will they still eat the food?
Jen: I dunno.
Julia: I think there's something you can buy.
Jen: Well, if you want to, we can look for it at Petsmart this weekend.
Julia: I won't be there.
Jen: If you're making me miserable on Friday night and Saturday night, I'm making you miserable on Saturday morning.
Julia: It will have to be at like 7 o'clock.
Julia: I'm leaving at like 9, and I'm not going to Petsmart with green hair. I'll have to come home and get ready.
Julia: I don't know why you can't take them by yourself. I do it every weekend.
Jen: You're never home on the weekends.
Julia: I pick them up almost every Saturday by myself.
Julia: Why do you always start something?
Julia: You're being a bitch, I'll be a bitch.
Jen: Then you can get out of the car and walk to your car.
Julia: Then you can give me gas money for coming out here to meet you for lunch.
(Short pause; traffic starts up again.)
Julia: I don't know why you can't walk both of them, they'll help you. They ask me if I want them to bring one of them out, but I always say I can handle it, you should say, "No, I can't handle it." Even when Holden comes with me, I take both of them.
Julia: Maybe you should start practice walking both of them. Every night, take a five minute walk.
Jen: I get nervous because Maddie got loose that time in the parking lot.
Julia: Use their harnesses; they can't pull out of them.
Jen: You know that web site Learning To Love You More that gives assignments, list things from 1984...
Jen: One of the assignments is to transcribe a recent argument.
Julia: Are you going to do this one?
Jen: Yeah. (In a mocking tone) "You have to give me gas money for meeting you for lunch."
Julia: (Also mocking) Make sure you include "Get out of the car and walk."