Learning To Love You More

ASSIGNMENTS:

REPORTS:


Donate my imperfect eyes to someone with even less perfect eyes, maybe to a war veteran or somebody with no eyes at all. If I die young, donate my heart because that's pretty good. I also have a fine set of teeth that have undergone several thousands of dollars of orthodontia, so try to do something with those. If my parents are still alive, they might like to have them. And shave my headÑyou should probably give it to a cancer patient for a wig and not try to sell it to a costume company, even though I hear they pay pretty well. Now that I'm thinking about it, just take out whatever's salvageable (except for my brain, unless you're an especially dedicated Egyptologist). If it looks like I died unhappy, tell me something nice right before you do all of this, like maybe what beautiful hands I haveÑI've always thought they were my best feature. You could then pitch me off a cliff. I wouldn't really be me anyway, would I. Nobody would know what had happened and there would be nobody to stop you. You could recreate the scene from the music video for "Mary Jane's Last Dance," where Tom Petty dresses up a very much dead Kim Basinger and dances her around in a tower by the sea. But if I had my way, I'd like you to leave me someplace dark and quiet like, for example, a hole in the ground.