Learning To Love You More
HELLO ASSIGNMENTS DISPLAYS LOVE GRANTS REPORTS SELECTIONS OLIVERS BOOK

 ASSIGNMENTS:

 

 

Assignment #52
Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Anonymous
Ontario, CANADA

REPORTS:

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Ring Ring Ring
  
Me: Hello?
  
Her:Hi, its me
  
Me: Hello, there.
  
Her:How's it going?
  
Me: Better than ever, actually. Why are you calling me?
  
Her: I want to apologize for stabbing you in the back and then pretending I didn't.
  
Me: Its really lame that you didn't automatically apologize, the longer you waited, the less I liked you. However I am happy, now that we are not forced to be friends.
  
Her: I'm sorry. I don't have many friends anymore, since I have been a terrible human all around.
  
Me: I would say your parents failed miserably at raising you, I feel sorry for your future children. So, this is how it is now, you apologized, and that's great. We will never be friends though, I don't like you or anything you do. Every time you speak, every hair on my back stands up because you always say stupid judgemental things that no one find amusing. Oh yeah, and you have beady ugly eyes, and we all think you are a slut.
  
Her: I have a car now.
  
Me: That's beautiful for you I bet. If we were friends, you could bring back my empties. Hopefully they would spill all over the back of your leather seats. So, this is it. Don't call me anymore because I am not interested. I hope that you grow up one day and realise the importance of being a trustworthy, loyal and empathetic friend...although, even that would not change my mind about you, but, that's something for me to work on. You should go to live on that island, the faraway one.
  
Her: Yes, you are a bitch you know
  
Me: I know. Bye now, I've had enough of you forever.
  
Her: Bye
  
*click*