Learning To Love You More




Assignment #52
Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Mai Le
San Francisco, California USA



M: Hello?
C: Hi Mai? It's C.
M: C? How are you? I'm glad you called.
C: I'm good, living in New York. Writing, making films.
M: M and J told me you were there. Are you still cooking? I liked that about you. That you were this fashionista who loved to roll up her sleeves and cook elaborate meals.
C: Yeah, well. I called because I felt we needed to talk.
M: Yeah. It's difficult, but I'll start. I'm sorry. I'm not sure what exactly happened. It seemed like we were BFFs and then it was awkward after you got back from living in Hong Kong.
C:...I was going through a lot back then.
M: Yeah. I knew that. I mean D and M would tell me about your state of mind and (your break-up with) M and somehow that was easier to deal with instead of asking you myself. It seemed easier for me to withdraw into myself and just count on "running into you" (and the small talk that would ensue) instead of making plans with you.
C: Weren't you going through stuff as well?
M: Yeah. I guess that was hard, I felt you were projecting some of your situation onto the situation I was in. And also I suddenly saw you with J all the time.
C: She's just easy to be around, she doesn't demand much.
M: I know. I'm different I guess. I was always going places alone, so it was easy to feel like you were replacing me with J. But the thing is, when it was happening, I only half mourned the loss of our friendship. I was too preoccupied with what was going on in my own life. And I'm sorry for that.
I'm really sorry I didn't ever thank you for the profound support you gave me up until things got weird. In so many ways: in art and creativity and fashion and cooking. I remember someone once called you a spaz and I balked at them. You said the only reason I did that was because you were the yin to my yang and you calmed me. I'm learning that, that is what makes up love. So, thank you for everything and I'm sorry. Thank you for being the brave one and making the call.
C: Okay. I have to go now. Bye.
M: Bye.