Learning To Love You More




Assignment #52
Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Bristol, UK



D: Hey
M: (silence)
D: Are you there? Laura?
M: (small squeaking sound)
D: Are you ok?
M: Yeah.
D: I called coz I miss you. I miss you so much, there's so much that I want to say, that I've always wanted to say and couldn't.
M: I miss you too, but I think it'll be too hard to listen to everything you want to say, when I wanted to say anything you ran away... you left me.
D: I know, I'm so sorry, I can't apologise enough but I love you.
M: You cannot do this now, you are married, you have a child...
D: But I loved you then as well.
M: Then why didn't you say that then... you said you loved me twice, and when I returned the compliment I didn't see you for three months and then you came back as if nothing had happened. I loved you... but you blew it. I will always love you but it can't happen... it never will and I think that your wife and daughter will probably be grateful if you don't ring me again.
D: What do you want?
M: What I always wanted, but I can't have you so there we go.
D: You can have me...
M: you have a wife and a child who need you, I know you like your freedom, but whatever happens we can't be together. You realised that three years ago and left me..
D: But I never really left you, I texted you and hurt you but I never really left you, I was there I still am right there for you.
M: This is the first time we've talked in at least a year, and yes you hurt me and yes you were still there but if I came anywhere near you your pregnant wife shot daggers and acid at me with her eyes...
D: I want you so bad.
M: Don't say that, because it is not going to happen ever, please don't call me because if I crumble and ruin the best relationship I ever had I won't be left with a scrap of dignity and I need some to survive the fall out.
D: Don't cut me out, I need you in my life.
M: I can't be in your life, I can't talk to you without aching so much inside that I feel sick. You can't be in mine, I can't live with you being here in my head. Please leave me alone.
D: you're crying. Please don't cry you can't imagine how much you crying makes me want to be there for you. I want to be holding you, I want to be kissing your tears away.
I need you, you need me... I want you, you want me, what is the problem? I know I have a family and it's going to be hard but it's not impossible.
M: What about my life? What about my fiancˇe? What about all the things I want to do?
D: We can do all those things together. You want me.
M: You are so arrogant, it still astounds me.
D: That's why you want me, I always made out I was the best so you began to believe it. I was the best I have ever been when I was with you. We can have it again.
M: I really want to believe you, I really, really do but I'm not going to give up on my fiancˇe for you. What happens when you get bored of me? Or I say "I love you"? What is going to happen when you break my heart and smash up my life and my confidence again? I love you and I always will and I've hoped you'd call me for so long... but I can't listen to any more. I love you, bye. (click)
D: Laura? Laura?