Learning To Love You More




Assignment #60
Write a press release about an everyday event.

Aimee Hennessy
Eureka, California USA



San Francisco Chronicle (Insight section) and The New York Times (business section). So far this is the only response, from the NY Times (bizday@nytimes.com):
Aimee Hennessy
Telecommuter Has Difficulty Managing Time
Eureka, CA - June 19, 2007 - Area film student and part-time publicist Aimee Hennessy, 30, hit a record low in productivity today. While she blames it on the summer weather and the fact that it is difficult to sit at a computer all day long, industry analysts point out that this is exactly what she did with her time.
This downward turn in productivity appears to have begun when she woke up too late to go jogging along the train tracks at the crack of dawn, as she has been meaning to do for the past four years. "Today was going to be different," Hennessy stated. "I had even considered things such as whether my keys would fall out of the pocket of my hoodie or if I should secure them to my zipper, and how I would transport a bottle of water. It occurred to me that this must be what fanny packs are for, so I looked for the one my mother had given me years ago." Hennessy later admitted that despite these ruminations, she did not leave her apartment at all today.
The better part of her day was reportedly spent doing research on the internet, but when pressed she conceded that this "research" consisted of looking up hundreds of terrifying complaints about the company she had bought a camera from the day before, bookmarking them so that she would know who to go to should she feel the need to file a class action lawsuit, because she is certain that her order is going to turn out disastrously. In preparation for this research, she compiled an angry playlist to listen to.
Though further details of Hennessy's day are vague at best, all evidence seems to point to the fact that it was spent writing blog entries, despite telling several friends that she had given up on writing because, as she put it, "There are more writers than there are readers out there." The extent of Hennessy's sloth was not really made apparent to her until she was asked how her day went by her significant other, who had spent all day working at the local independent bookstore. "He caught me in the middle of writing a fake press release while I was supposed to be writing a real one," Hennessy admitted. "I was suddenly terribly ashamed of myself."