Learning To Love You More
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Assignment #64
Teach us an exercise.

Francis Raven
Boston, Massachusetts USA

REPORTS:

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New Stroke: The D'Orange (pronounced 'door hinge')
  
"The swimmer's solitary training, the long hours spent semi-submerged, induce a lonely, meditative state of mind. Much of a swimmer's training takes place inside his head, immersed as he is in a continuous dream of a world under water. So intense and concentrated are his conditions that he becomes prey to delusions and neuroses beyond the experience of other athletes."
  
-Charles Sprawson
  
Categorization: This stroke is a backstroke. It is essentially an upside down breaststroke with a butterfly-kick finish.
  
Disadvantage: The stroke is easier and faster if you put your face underwater while upside down. Blow bubbles or you will get water in your nose. Water in one's nose is unpleasant.
  
Instructions:
  
(1) Laying flat on your back, extend your arms straight above your head, elbows bent, as if praying horizontally, in reverse. Your nose and mouth should be above water so you should be able to breathe.
  
(2) In unison, with flattened palms facing outward, push the water in a circular motion with your arms so that the water swooshes by your legs. When your arms are parallel with your legs lift them straight above your head and plunk them backward to their beginning position. For greater efficiency, this is the point at which your head should be fully submerged.
  
(3) Meanwhile, your legs should begin close together with your knees pointed outward and should move in a circular motion to speed you along. To do this: (a) bend your knees outward and bring your feet up towards your body so that they are touching and in line with your head, (b) extend your legs out to the sides, and (c) push water by forcefully bringing your feet back together (to their starting position).
  
(4) With your arms at rest, gliding, you are ready for the stroke's secondary kick. Rotate your knees towards your center such that your knees are facing towards the sky. Now, kick your legs up and down in a powerful whipping motion that should be generated from the hips. As your legs come down your knees should be bent; as they come up your legs will be straightened.
  
(5) Return to step 1.
  
Simply, if you teach this stroke throw some money my way. I'm in the patenting process as we speak, very early, like just thinking about it, but the law has long arms forwards and backwards.